just a bit of sharing.. story of mine..
this happened so many times in my life.. maybe we can get benefit from it..
~ i'm not an excellent student.. if 2 hours of study is enough for my friends , i may need an hour extra.. i'm special when comes to illness but any way it's okay coz i knew HE want to delete my sins before the time comes.. it just a matter wether i want it to be deleted or not..
ok.. back to what i would like to share...
today morning was our EOP(end of posting) exam.. and i felt it scary on prev night because we gonna have it with a lecturer who's known to be fussy n angry-bird-like...hehe..
but yesterday, i have shortness of breath and fever.. maybe the hemoglobin turn low again.. so i felt tired n uncomfortable.. sleepy.. but i knew I NEED TO STUDY because i'm afraid of the angry-bird-like lecturer...
i start flipping pages from my book.. but i cant concentrate..
i stop and took PCM..
i flip again..this time not the book but my old notes.. i dont think this can help me if the angry-bird-like lecturer want to argue about evidence.. but in that circumstance, at least the old notes help me to revise what being thought in class and force my brain to think. In the end, i felt something is not right!
yes.. something is not right..
not with my health..
or my notes..
or the angry-bird-like lecturer..
the problem is with me..my thought n my heart..
i broke into tears... realising that ALLAH is with me but i'm not with HIM..
ALLAH is telling me that HE is near by allow me to feel the breathing..(i was still breathless at that time)... and so forth..
maybe i was drown in little knowledge till i immersed unconciously not realising that ALLAH is telling me " Iyyaka na'budu wa iyyaka nasta'een"..
i stop for a few minutes..
re-check myself.. ask HIM for forgiveness.. tawakkal 'alALLAH is my only intention now..
i flip my notes again..this time with better feeling and understanding..
and i ask ALLAH " Ya Rabb.. YOU are Al 'Alim.. You know everything and You know future witch i never know..hence,help me,make ease for me and make me a better muslim and servant of YOU"...
i'm already tired that i need to lie down and read anything left that i could...
i cant cover all the topics.. but i do pick some topics that my heart(lintasan hati) think those were important and brush it over and over again..
today morning, i woke with a call to ALLAH sing in my ear..Alhamdulillah..just that,i'm not feeling fresh..mild fever and throbbing head ache.. i took PCM again with prayer that ALLAH will relief anything that bother me.. i really understand that PCM and gud sleep are only an effort.. the outcome is in HIS hand alone...
Alhamdulillah 'ala kulli hal..
Allah give me a nice patient,
gud case with clear cut..
and the one angry-bird-like lecturer that make me sigh was not my examiner..
even if that person will be my examiner, i'm fine with it.. even i look forward to angry-bird-like respond if i was make to present case..
sorry if i make you read this story and you get nothing from it..
i dont know simple way to convey this message..
can anyone complete this sentence for me? (really for me)
i shall feel stupid because i'm a muslim but _______________________
May ALLAH make you a better muslim....each day..